So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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