yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
