haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
