But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize