Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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