I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Everclear isn't food dammit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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