he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
