Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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