Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
