I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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