You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
