i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
