Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
