Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
