Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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