Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
