Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
