well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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