why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
