On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize