He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
