ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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