Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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