I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
