Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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