apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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