there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
zippers are such a cool invention
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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