Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
