Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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