I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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