Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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