He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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