does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
