I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
