Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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