I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
