$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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