We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
