i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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