I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize