idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
