I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
is that a dick in a sweater?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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