I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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