So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
