WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
