Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
