I love black thongs
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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