God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
