I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
