His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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