if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
