You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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