Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
