don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
