Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
