just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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