Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
