We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
