plz talk dirty to me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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