i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
