so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
