i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
