fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
