Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
