ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
