I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
