I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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