He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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