dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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