Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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