it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
