so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
