CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
