this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
