i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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