omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
