So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
