Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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